The Cult of Curtain Bangs
Every person with long hair has had bangs at one point in their life and if they haven’t, they’ve considered it. Whether it’s a 12 a.m. breakdown in your bathroom or the need to feel like you’re rebranding yourself, bangs happen.
Although, curtain bangs are a whole other deal. They are everywhere.
Maybe they’ll be at a campus Starbucks picking up a matcha latte in a Brandy Melville cardigan. They could be in your art class painting a surrealist piece. They were especially abundant at the local Harry Styles concert last November.
If you look at your surroundings on or around campus, you are bound to see a plethora of people with this hairstyle. Curtain bangs are a look that fits well into many aesthetics. They pair well with many people’s personal styles such as influencer-trendy, Y2K, cottage core, and even grunge.
So, where did the style originate? Most likely when curtains were invented.
They were actually a very popular style of bang in the 60s, popularized by actresses like Sharon Tate and Bridgette Bardot. Two very prominent figures of the more current movement are 2010s stars Zooey Deschanel and Lea Michelle.
More recently, celebrities such as Gigi Hadid, Sydney Sweeney, Priyanka Chopra, Dakota Johnson, Jammela Jamil, Kendall Jenner, Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo, Lana Del Rey, and Yara Shahidi have all been seen with them.
So why are they all of a sudden all over campus? In 2020, the style became prominent during the COVID-19 quarantine when people got bored in their homes. People collectively decided to make TikToks of themselves cutting curtain bangs.
The curtain bang hashtag alone has 1.3 billion views on TikTok. Now if you have curtain bangs, it isn’t something you should be ashamed of. But you should be aware of what duties will most likely be asked of you.
I went undercover to a meeting, located in the back room of the local Urban Outfitters. I found out the top-secret cult rules and am going to share them.
I knew that I was risking my personal safety and that I could’ve ended up in the back lot of the store, handcuffed with silk psychedelic print bandana tops. But I knew that I needed to try and warn others. Thankfully, I successfully blended in and got some insight. Here’s what I learned during the meeting:
1. “You have to start wearing Glossier makeup, anything as full coverage as the sheerest amount of Nars Radiant Creamy Concealer is unacceptable”
Starting off strong, they do not want to see anybody looking bright eyed and energetic, that’s what the complementary Health-Ade Kombucha is for.
2. “You must listen to Lana Del Rey’s music and buy at least one of her vinyls, preferably Ultraviolence”
They don’t care if you think her bedazzled mesh mask was problematic or not, you must stream one of her albums at least once a week.
3. “Oatmilk is the only acceptable milk option for your lattes”
I personally saw the unidentified cult leader drinking a cold brew with vanilla sweet cream cold foam, but that's none of my business.
The members of this cult are starting to infiltrate each and every space. If you know someone who seems to be living this lifestyle, sit them down and ask them why they are doing so.
Try to get to the root of their desire for domination. While they aren’t doing much harm now, pretty soon you will have no choice but to cooperate and get the cut.
Jolie Vega — March 8th, 2022
