Life Lessons From a Girl Who Knows Nothing
Breaking news! A freshly 22-year-old girl thinks she knows everything there is to know about life and insists on giving her unwarranted advice!
As much as I wish that were the truth–that would make life much easier–it is far from it. It’s a universal experience to think you know everything when you’re young. It’s a textbook case of the Dunning-Kruger Effect. There’s so much to see that you don’t even know what you don’t know, which makes you think that you know it all. Ya know?
With that being said, I still wanted to share what I consider to be valuable lessons that I’ve learned through heartbreak, love, loss, more heartbreak, and life in general during this pivotal era of my twenties.
Lesson #1: Don’t let people project their insecurities onto you. In simpler terms, don’t let them dull your sparkle.
Unfortunately, our biggest haters are often disguised as the people we love the most. It’s one of the most difficult things to learn. This has nothing to do with you. They see the confidence in you that they lack, and they want it for themselves. They might do and say hurtful things knowing that it will knock your self-esteem down a peg, thus dragging you down to their level. Don’t succumb to their greediness. This took me a lot of grueling heartbreak to understand, but it’s something that I would have never realized if I hadn’t experienced it. This lesson will bring you a lot of pain, but the freedom that you feel after you realize this and rediscover your confidence is indescribable.
Lesson #2: Don’t regret treating people with kindness, even when they don’t reciprocate it or they abuse it. Let your vulnerability show them what they are losing. Forgive, even when it’s hard.
The only thing more exhausting than experiencing pain at the moment is holding a grudge until the end of time. Anger is an all-consuming emotion. It’s painfully debilitating. It’s also completely normal, especially after someone disappoints you or disrespects you. You mustn’t act on it because, most likely, you’ll regret it. On the contrary, I’ve never regretted extending kindness to someone. If someone is doing something to hurt you, they have unresolved trauma within themselves. Don’t contribute to their cycle of destruction. Give them grace and leave them with a loving impression.
Lesson #3: Never beg for someone to stay. Trust that when someone chooses to exit your life, they are doing you a favor. It’s for a greater purpose and will open up space in your life for opportunities that are meant for you.
Trust the cliche that when one door closes, another one opens. When one door closes, TEN doors open. In the moment, it feels like everything in your life is crumbling all at once. Like you’re drowning. But those feelings will fade. You will start directing more time and energy into yourself, and just like magic, your life will transform in your favor. You owe it to yourself to stand up for yourself and accept that you deserve better treatment than what this person was able to offer you. All I have to say as someone who was once a beggar…never again.
Lesson #4: Channel your pain into creativity. This doesn’t just apply to the creatives out there.
Even if you don’t consider yourself to be creative, use this time to discover your outlet for self-expression. You owe it to yourself to invest time and energy into what you genuinely enjoy, and now is the time to do that without fear of judgment. Experiment with your style, try out a new art form, discover new music that inspires you, and invest in your future career aspirations. Whatever applies to you, fully embrace it and discover new aspects of your identity.
Lesson #5: Comparison is your greatest enemy.
I almost titled this one “Comparison makes you ugly,” but I thought that might be too harsh. By that, I’m not necessarily talking about appearance, but your inner thoughts about yourself will indeed translate into how you carry and present yourself. It will also translate into how you treat or talk about others. I can only say this because I’ve struggled with this. Nothing beneficial will ever come out of comparing yourself to others. I wish I had learned this lesson sooner because my tendency for comparison temporarily took away a lot of my confidence. However, if you put in the work to love yourself, you will never even consider comparison.
Thanks for coming along to this little therapy session we had here today. Feel free to take this advice, double it, and give it to the next person, or completely ignore it. These tips might not be universal and applicable to everyone’s situations, but this is what helped me break out of a toxic cycle of attracting negative things into my life. I wish you luck in your journey of self-love and empowerment.
By Andonia Goergen
Design by Monica Watson
